Stalking Youtube...

So, I decided to stalk YouTube today.  I couldn't decide what to focus on, what topic to bring up.

I liked discussing the What Would You Do video I posted yesterday and thought, "hmm, what else is there?"

Thus, the stalking. 

Now, I'm sure many of you know how to use the search function on YouTube.  I decided to make a random pick and when I added "wwyd" into the search bar, imagine my surprise when I spotted "abusive boyfriend" among the choices.

Well, I found my topic.  Which is actually something I find lumped together with Domestic Violence, which is not always the case.  Or at least, not always as it is defined.  What I find especially disheartening is that many victims of abuse find themselves isolated and alone. 

However, in the video the female victim has a number of people willing to come to her defense.  But this is a scenario where the abuse is happening in public.  Who helps her then? Who would be willing to help her? Behind closed doors, the situation is different. 

The abuser has more power, more control.  What does he have to fear his power being undermined or taken from him?  The abused has no reprieve, no relief.  There is no freedom.  There is no choice, merely the illusion of one. 

Anything can happen, anything at all, and the abused would be too dependent and too afraid to resist.  But out in the open, events work differently. 

This is the "expected" norm. Woman abused + public = "HERO HELPERS"!!!

But what if the roles were reversed?

Men are, sadly, not given the same consideration as their female counterparts.

Men are just as vulnerable to abuse. 

The problem is that men are emasculated in our society.  They are taught that it is shameful to be weak.  That, to be anything, but "a man", is to be ridiculed and humiliated.  It is the same as saying "boys should not play with dolls." 

The Double Standard.  At. It's. Finest. 

Men can be hurt.  Women can be hurt.  But why are we concerned only with the latter when both suffer, when both can be victims?

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, consider these sources:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

http://domestic-violence.laws.com/domestic-violence-hotline

Call Me Crazy, Diary of a Mad Social Worker

Today I had the privilege of going to see a show called "Call Me Crazy, Diary of a Mad Social Worker". 

It starts with a Social Worker named Lewis, who has a nervous breakdown and tries to kill her boss.  She is committed for psychiatric observation and recounts her life experiences working with prostitutes, drug addicts and prisoners.

Call Me Crazy is an entirely unique outlook at the experiences of social workers by showcasing 25 characters from addicts to women with menopause.  It's a chance insight of the life of social workers, who work to save one life at a time. 

My mother bought the tickets because she's a social worker and she really wanted to see it.  I agreed. I like these kind of shows.  Now, I don't want to give out any details and spoil it but I will say that it is worth the time to go see.  These are the types of shows that are never the same.  Each one is unique and special, in its own way.

This one was hilariously funny, loud, engaging, and honest. 

My mother would come home from work with various stories about her day.  About students fighting or exposing themselves.  About students who stole from teachers or threatened teachers.  She had stories about "clients" (not inmates), who would bring weapons to locations or times she was attacked by dogs.

This show highlighted the life of social workers.  It showcased the experiences that social workers go through on a daily basis.  From difficult and dangerous clients to incompetent and hostile co-workers.  It expressed the hardship of separating the personal and work, of the low pay and scarce thanks.

Social Workers are vulnerable to PTSD. 

Social Workers are paid low to medium wage (if they're lucky). 

Social Workers are often denied pay raises and funding.

Social Workers put their lives on the line everyday.

This show is powerful in its honestly and in the reality that it reflects. 

It was moving and funny.  I laughed at frightening accurate impressions and cried at those that were heartbreaking true.

Call Me Crazy is not just a play.  It's not just poetry out loud for social workers.  It is an example of the lives of real people.  People who have a wide range of experiences about sex, family, life, and work.  About people who have been stalked by pimps and sex offenders.  About people who have been held hostage or been threatened and attacked.

These are people who are paid less than school teachers, and who try to make a difference.  Because these are people who know the meaning of being human, of treating someone like a person and not a label.  These are individuals who sacrifice their own safety and peace of mind to try and help others.  

They're crazy. Undoubtedly.  But, you have to be crazy to care so damn much.

When you get the chance, this is something you should definitely see.

Cinderella

Well now, this post was started by the movie...which I am also watching as I make this post. 

It is actually my favorite film out of the entire Cinderella fandom.  This is because of a number of reasons (not including the fact that Richard Madden, who also played Robb Stark from Game of Thrones, is paying the prince. Definitely not. Not at all. Nope.).

(That smile...)

ANYWAY!!!! Moving on...

This film hit a number of high points.  The prince character was fleshed out.  There is depth to the Prince beyond  the "Charming" bit.  Which I think means a great deal for men and women, all around.  Men are not competing with an imagined idea of the perfect "prince", and women are not fantasizing about a person that cannot realistically exist.  Two dimensionally characters do not transfer well to reality.  I'm sure they'd melt or something.

By most favorite part of the film is that both female and male leads have obstacles that they have to overcome before they can get their happily ever after.  This, I find, is consistent with what we face now.  We all have problems and obstacles that block our way to the happiness we strive for.  Sometimes those obstacles may even be our family and their expectations for us.  Other times, it is the expectations we think is expected of us. 

Did the prince not think he had to marry for advantage? Did Ella not think she could never find love, much less with a prince?

The most powerful of the film, I like to think, is that almost missed message: you can't do it alone.  When the "prince" meet his "honest, country girl", she imparted onto him a lesson of power and strength.  Just as the Fairy Godmother helped Ella make it to the ball. 

We are all people with strength we don't think we have.  Only we as individuals can take the journey before us.  But that does not mean we have to take it alone or that we won't need help along the way. 

In the end of the film, the newly crowned king rescues his intended bride from her tower prison.  But it was Cinderella who saved herself, her dignity and it was she who walked away with her head held high. 

We may not be born princes and princesses but that does not mean we cannot be just as noble or as graceful or as kind or as dignified. 

All of us have the capacity for greatness, so long as we are willing to reach for it.